Might as well get used to it.

Because I think I might be pregnant forever.

Due date.

and it just so happens that I'm still pregnant. The past few days I have felt very energetic though, and the other night I dreamt that I was dancing. And I mean barrel turns and leaps. The whole nine yards. Then I woke up for the second time that night and hobbled to the bathroom, and that was that.

Here are some things I should do while Anabelle is napping now:

*pack my hospital bag.

*fold laundry.

*sip on some castor oil.

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Anabelle's second birthday was September 10. Our baby girl is 2!!! I woke up excited for the day, and we spent all day preparing. It certainly wasn't anything elaborate - just homemade "mac a cheese" and burgers with a green bean salad, but (as the saying goes) I am off like a herd of turtles these days... Pat's parents, my mom and Don, Great Grandma Therese and Aunt Kiki came over to celebrate.

We got her this table along with Crayola's box of 96 (!) crayons, and I have since dubbed her the "Color Keeper." If she isn't telling you to sit down and color then she herself is choosing the crayons she wants you to use. And they usually happen to be in the pink and purple families.

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Her actual birthday was most glorious - sunshine-y with the slight crispness of fall. But the next day was rainy - just perfect for a jaunt outside in her new rain gear from Nami.

So just think. Hopefully next time I write, I will be able to share good news! I'll be able to tell you "it's a ....!" and his/her "name is...!" One last item to add to my to-do list:

*convince Pat of the girl name I love...

Must get to work.

A few things that make me feel really awesome.

Being organized and filed - and this desk.

Apricot and orange - color scheme for the baby's nursery.

This face mask.

Clean sheets.

Laundry - in these awesome machines. Upstairs.

by... unknown potter

i am simply looking for beauty, whatever that is - it's nothing that can be explained, only felt. If i find it in a single bowl, or a wandering line of pots, good. i am grateful.

We have been very busy 'round here.

One has to start somewhere to get back in the swing of things...

This here is a family collaboration:

And this one is my first attempt with a little bit of gouache and Aquaboard. I can not help it; I am overly drawn to orange and fuchsia. Wednesday morning when I worked on this, I remembered why I like to fill blank space with color and shape; it puts my mind at ease. like meditating, it calms me to look for and find new patterns in life and replicate them in my art. I sort my thoughts this way; I follow them to see where they go. Sometimes I remember bits and pieces of dreams while I paint - old dreams, ones that I must've stored somewhere and haven't remembered for years. I love the challenge of capturing a person or an animal in my paintings also, but there's a different and focused concentration I have when I do that. So... to find a balance between my meandering mind and my focused mind when I work on a painting brings me a lot of satisfaction.

Pat starts his new job on Monday, September 13, so we are really really hitting the town hard and spending as much quality time together as we can before he disappears into the land of proving-himself-and-terrible-commutes-and-company-cars-omg!!!-and-early-mornings-late-nights. (ew.)

So Tuesday we took Anabelle to Lincoln Park Zoo where she ate a popsicle and got mad at Papa for trying to sneak a bite. I also admitted to Pat that the patterns on animals, birds and fish especially truly make me believe in God. Who else could come up with the colors and detail?

Yesterday we went to the Botanic Garden where I sat down every chance I got. We went to the model train garden which Anabelle LOVED. Here she is gasping and pointing to a picture she thinks is of a "choo-choo hain."

And this morning we went downtown for a morning at the Shedd Aquarium. Anabelle's favorite thing was the faux camp site where she could flip plastic pancakes to her heart's content. Till we had to go and she had a mega breakdown.

She fell asleep in the car and wouldn't transfer to her bed, so she was crabby and my eyes are sort of rolling back in my head. Forget making dinner; it's 8:01 and I am ready for bed. I am carrying somewhere between 35 and 40 extra pounds, and my body is OVER IT. What surprises me is that I'm not working off all that extra weight just breathing... and hoisting around another 35 pounder named Anabelle around. The work it takes to climb stairs, holy moly. Though Anabelle's vocabulary and sentence making ability has come far in the past couple of months, "Mommy Up" is still in really good use.

Let's face it. I am super duper excited to be thin again. Ah, to wear anything but slip on shoes! to bend over! to not grunt when Anabelle pushes on my belly! to not wonder if I'll ever be able to get up from the floor when I sit down! to walk faster than 2 mph - and not feel the urge to pee. again!

That's one side of my brain. The other one wonders if maybe I shouldn't hope to be pregnant forever. That lack of sleep thing really looms over me. It's sort of my boogie man under the bed.

I think I forget though. How much I'm going to love this baby.

zzzzzzzzzzz for now.